And J, to add to my reply — I’m sorry that you have had to go through these issues with PCOS.

Pretty much this. In the end, it has nothing to do with seeing people as more human, but only objectifying them further.

However, you didn’t answer my question.

I asked, “I am an ignorant non-muslim and so could you please tell me about your medical history and your genitals so I can be educated about Muslims?” Your answer, as personal as it was, didn’t teach me anything about what it’s like to be a Muslim. You taught me what it’s like to be a woman with PCOS. If I was fearing you and assuming that you were a terrorist because you’re Muslim before you wrote all that personal information, then now I’m still fearing you and assuming that you’re a terrorist because you’re Muslim, but now I also know you have PCOS. My opinion of you as a Muslim has not been altered by the personal medical information that you shared.

So no, it wasn’t a challenge. My point was that my knowing about your genitals does nothing to bring me to a better understanding about you as a Muslim, just as a non-trans person knowing about my genitals does nothing to bring them to a better understanding about me as a trans person.

Second, although the changes your body has undergone due to PCOS might seem to be an experience that is in parallel to that of trans men who take testosterone, in fact, it’s not. The changes that you experience – the enlargement of your clitoris, the body hair growth, etc – are out of your control and are unwanted side effects of a disease that you have. For trans men on testosterone, the same bodily changes are self-imposed and desired (usually) as a way for them to express their own sense of themselves. And so, a more adequate comparison would be if you decided to wear a hijab as a way to express your own sense of your religion. I’m not sure what it would be like in India, but here in the U.S, I can’t imagine that strangers who meet you, upon learning that you are Muslim, would ask you why you are wearing a hijab. First, it would be understood that you are expressing your own sense of your religion, and second, it would be considered impolite to ask you such a question, yet politeness and etiquette go out the window too often when a non-trans person meets a trans person.

Third,to that point, your reference to jokes in India between Muslims and Jews as to whether a person is a “cut” (referring to whether they are circumcised) is also not a valid comparison because it is common vernacular where you live. In contrast, some non-trans people will ask trans people personal questions that they would never think of asking other non-trans people. It’s as though some non-trans people see us as non-deserving of the same common decency, politeness and consideration that is afforded to non-trans people, and it’s justified in the name of curiosity or wanting to be educated.

Fourth, if a man walks up to you and says “so what’s the state of your clit? babe” … I mean, really? Really? Even if you choose to answer such an offensive question, that doesn’t change the fact that the question was offensive in the first place. Personally, I think answering such a question doesn’t put any kind of sense into anyone’s head because I doubt anyone who poses such a question can learn anything. If they could, they would have already learned that they shouldn’t be asking such awful questions. And I also think that answering such a question implicitly gives permission to that person to keep on posing such offensive, inappropriate questions.

That’s my opinion anyway. As always, others might, and probably do, disagree.

So thank you for the engaging debate. I hope that things where you work go better and you get some relief from all the hours you have been putting in.

Now I’m going to go mourn yet another Super Bowl where the Patriots lost to the Giants.

I don’t disagree with what you’re saying about educating people and I never said that I refuse to educate non-trans people about trans people. I have done it ad nauseum. All I am saying is that non-trans people can be educated about trans people without the need to ask about hormones, surgeries or genitals, which are personal questions about medical treatments. If non-trans people want to know about those personal things, they CAN look on the internet and get information that way rather than ask personal, inappropriate questions.

There is a lot more to trans people than their medical treatments, and yet that is what we are constantly reduced to. And there is nothing in your discourse about your interaction with the Hijra woman or muslim people being stereotyped as terrorists that has anything to do with the Hijra or muslims disclosing their medical treatments to people. I mean, honestly, there is a distinction here.

Based on what you’re saying, you should be perfectly willing to educate me about all of the surgeries you have had and the medications you take and what your genitals look like so I won’t fear you as a muslim or think you are a terrorist. I am an ignorant non-muslim and so could you please tell me about your medical history and your genitals so I can be educated about Muslims?

When I receive inappropriate questions, I sometimes say, “That’s not really an appropriate question,” or sometimes I’ll say, “I won’t discuss my own personal medical treatments, but I can tell you that some trans people take hormones and some do not… etc.” I can still offer general information without talking about myself and my private medical information.

However, I don’t think that every trans person should feel obligated to answer questions of non-trans people, no matter how curious or well-meaning they are when they ask. Some trans people don’t mind answering questions, and that’s great, but it’s not our responsibility to educate people. There is all sorts of information out there on the internet, at the library, the bookstore, on TV where people can get information about trans people. That’s my opinion about it anyway.