About the Author

A lion sleeps in the heart of every brave man. -- Turkish proverb

Welcome to my blog.  Thanks for stopping in.

A few things about me:  I am a scientist, a manager at a pharmaceutical company and a trans man.  I’m not trained as a writer, but I have a little over a dozen scientific publications and I dabbled as a freelance writer for several years, so I guess I am able to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) with some success.

I am fairly active in the trans community and I like to be able to connect trans people with resources and information.

Please feel free to leave comments or ask questions or to correct me if I’m wrong.  I strongly believe that incorrect information, especially in the trans community, has the potential to do harm, so I hope that people are sticklers about what I post just like I am about what others post.

I invite respectful disagreements and really like it when someone can change my mind about something, so give it a go if you are game for a healthy debate.

I’m not sure how often I will make posts. I’m shooting for once per week but I don’t know if I can meet that goal now that the nice weather has finally arrived.

It’s good to have you here.  If you like what you see, please come back.

— Anderson

PS – The lion  is my own idea and is not meant to be a representation of all FTMs.  Some trans guys would not choose a lion as a symbol for themselves or our community.

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47 Responses to About the Author

  1. What made you decide to start your journal here rather than at one of the more popular journaling sites such as Live Journal?

  2. I compared several blogging sites and liked Word Press because of the high level of support, all the different functions and for the statistics. (I really dig good stats…)

  3. gr_transguy says:

    Way to go, bro! This is perfect! I look forward to seeing this evolve.

  4. alabastard says:

    Good that you are doing this. I prefer Live Journal, for the networking aspect, but I’ll try to read you when you blog here.

  5. Thanks Alabastard. I plan to do more than journal, so WP should work well for what I have planned.

    GR_transguy, thanks man.

  6. AL says:

    I like your idea of the Lion…and the Quote with it. Good research. But then you are a scientist, it’s what you do…research that is. Cool Lion!!

    Bruddah

  7. Rebecca says:

    That Matt Kailey is such an instigator. Oh wait there was Matt and then all those others too 😉 Well I’m glad you listened! I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts in the blogosphere.

  8. Thanks Becki. I’m glad you like it.

  9. Mitch says:

    Great site. What area of science are you in? I am a scientist, as well….

  10. Angela German says:

    The case of the woman in Houston fighting for her husbands benefits led me to seek more information on the medical condition that had her declared a male at birth. I am an educator of yound children and see behavior that is considered gender specific occuring in all children. I found your writings very interesting and informative! I believe in the science of what makes people into the beings that we become. I am begining my 28th year of teaching children this school year. I have had a number of students that displayed one set of physical self and seemed to have another gender identity. Many of these young people are facing issues with the non matching sexuality and “genderality”. I think you are doing important work, facing life with humor, and trying to make it easier for people to understand each other.

    • Well thank you. Very kind of you to say. And thank you for being observant and open minded about the children you teach. If only my teachers had been like you…

    • kris says:

      I think hearing fro an educator like yourself is extremely important and I am so glad you are open minded and understand that just someones body says they are one sex, the body alone is not the whole picture!

  11. A says:

    glad to have found this place, and I will DEFENITELY be back

  12. Maegan Beard says:

    I’m writing you today to ask for your support on a personal project I’m working on. One of my oldest friends is female-to-male transgendered. His top surgery was completed about a year ago, and his next goal is metoidioplasty. I’ve taken on the challenge of helping him raise funds for this very expensive surgery.

    We’re putting together a 2011 calendar of FTMs that will be sold online and in various LGBTQI-friendly businesses all over the United States. My goal is to make this an annual project for transgendered people who need help financing the medical procedures they so desperately need. In order to pay for the printing costs, I’m selling ads on the calendar and on our website to people who provide services, products, and support to the transgender community.

    100% of the proceeds from the calendar sales will pay medical fees associated with Sexual Reassignment Surgery for transgendered individuals. If you’d like to donate, advertise, or pre-order a calendar, please visit our website! We’d also appreciate anything you can do to help promote the project.

    I would really appreciate your support on this project. Sometimes the smallest acts can lead to the biggest changes in someone’s life. I am just one person trying to help make the lives of others better in some way, but I can’t do it alone. I appreciate your time and consideration. And I thank you for the difference you are already making in people’s lives.

    Sincerely,

    Maegan E. Beard
    2011 Transguys Calendar Project
    http://www.theTcal.org

    hey_meg@hotmail.com
    (828) 243-5350

  13. Len aka Leonard says:

    Wow, hey. Is this the same Anderson from the chat forum? If so, I had no idea this was your blog. What a great surprise! I’ve been reading this for awhile now and it’s awesome, such a fun and intelligent read. I only wish you had time to update it more often, but given the fact your job has you doing cancer research I think I can let it slide, and as a cancer survivor I think I’m under some sort of contractual obligation to do so 😛

    • Hello Len. Indeed, it is the same Anderson. Very nice to see you here. I, too, wish I could post more often. I’m hoping that after First Event I’ll have more time to do just that.
      Thank you for your kind comments, and I commend you on beating cancer. That’s no small feat. And I am also very glad to know you.

  14. Jake says:

    Hey… I identify as a transman. It has been a long time coming, as I am about to hit my 40th birthday. I am also a mom of four. So, coming to this realization has been difficult at best and I find myself second guessing myself a lot. “Am I *really* this way?” or “How can I really be a man if I have lived as a mom and wife for so long.” I still have difficulty answering these questions. Are there many other transmen out there that didnt start off as lesbian? I have always been considered a tomboy in looks and activities. And I have always considered myself bi and now almost exclusively find women alone attractive. I havent started hormones or anything yet… I hope to soon. But ‘life’ makes it difficult at best, especially with being a single parent.

    • Hi Jake,
      You are not alone in your past, your age at coming out to yourself, your motherhood or your transness. There are quite a few trans men who did not come from the lesbian community. I hope that if you are ready and if it’s what you want, that you find a good support group and therapist so you can work toward the answers to the questions you have posed. Best wishes to you!

  15. Harrison says:

    I hope you’re having a great week! My name is Harrison and I work with SnagFilms.com. We are an online library of over 2100 films, free for audiences to stream. I just wanted to let you know that a film that you may have high interest in, “Red Without Blue”, a documentary that follows a pair of twins as on transitions from male to female, is now available for free streaming via this link: http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/red_without_blue/

    Please consider spreading the word about this film either on or through your website. Please feel free to also email me back with questions, and would also like to know if you decide to use it so we can send it out through our network for cross promotion. 

    • Hello Harrison.
      Thank you for the information. I am aware of this film and have seen it already. I don’t think that this blog is the correct venue to highlight it, but I will make a Facebook post about it.

  16. Addis says:

    Hey, just found your blog, and I am loving it already! I was just wondering if you have any posts where you describe what made you realize you should transition? I’m just asking because I’m 27 myself, and I’m in a turmoil right now with regards to what to do, and most other blogs I found are about people who basically knew that they were trans since early childhood. I didn’t. I was just a tomboy for ages, only realized a couple of years or so ago, that there might be a reason behind my desire to dress like a man, be seen as a man by others (I remember how thrilled I got in high school, when old people in supermarkets would call me “young man”), to not have breasts… My realization came when I suddenly felt compelled to go on a diet, not because I was overweight, but because I somehow believed I could diet my breasts, hips and thighs away! (Duh!) That was stupid of course, but it got me thinking. About how since puberty I’d always been hiding my body, wanting smaller (aka: nonexistent) breasts, even though they’re super small already, being angry at my legs for fitting so badly into men’s pants… All that kind of stuff. I’ve been going back and forth between completely dressing as a man, and trying to fit into being a woman ever since puberty. I always preferred, of course, to look like a man. But for the sake of acceptance, I’ve gone through many periods in my life in women’s clothing. Sometimes I would just get so desperate in need of some kind of compliment, that I’d wear girly clothes to some occasion. Because it’s really hard to never hear a nice word about yourself, and the moment I stuffed myself into a dress, the compliments came. And like you described in a post recently, I can see myself as a parent at some point, but a mother? No way! The thought of bearing a child is completely alien to me, it just doesn’t feel like something my body was supposed to be able to do! So it’s been growing on me… and this summer I’m gonna do something about it! So I was just curious about your journey, what made you act on it? Was there like a turning point for you? Something that got you started on your realization process?

    • Hi Addis. Thanks for the comments, questions and insight into your process.

      Regarding my own journey, no, I have not made any posts about my life, the early part of my process or that “aha moment” when I realized I was a man in a female body (and there definitely was one). There are little snippets here and there in my narrative posts about living as a female for over 45 years, but nothing that directly addresses my history and journey. I think that at almost 5 years now going into my process, I am just now getting to the point where I can think about writing about it and making it public. That’s not the same thing as being comfortable enough to actually start writing about it.

      If you are looking for narratives like that, there are a number of books that you can check out. Max Valerio’s “Testosterone Files” is one, and I think that Matt Kailey wrote in his new book, “Teeny Weenies” about his personal story, although I haven’t read the book yet. Jamison Green mentions some aspects of his history and journey in “Becoming a Visible Man,” and there are a number of personal stories in “Finding the Real Me: True Tales of Sex and Gender Diversity” edited by Tracie O’Keefe and Katrina Fox. There are others, but these come to my mind first.

      That aside, congratulations on your self-discovery! I wish you all the best with your journey.

  17. Addis says:

    Thanks for the recommendations, I’ll check those books out, for sure!

  18. mostlyjoanne says:

    Hi, I just found your blog and your writing helped me gain some perspective on my own situation. I’m a little bit older than you and have already done the marriage, family route (although the kids are still very young). I find myself re-thinking my earlier choices and trying to find a path forward which supports my true nature. Anyways, your experiences that you write about have value and I wanted to thank you for sharing. (Mostly) Joanne from the Boston burbs.

  19. A Noun says:

    I just found your blog. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    Be well.

  20. Pingback: It’s A Major Award! An opportunity to tell you some boring things about me and to recommend some of my friends. « transbeautiful

  21. Evolving Gender says:

    I’m enjoying reading your insights. Thank you for putting them out here.

    -A

  22. Rena says:

    Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to
    new updates.

  23. FireTurtle says:

    Hello ATM
    I just found your blog, after hearing about it from a friend. I am a transman, transitioned about 10 years ago, and in more recent years have not been paying much attention to whats going on in the trans communities. I appreciate it when some folks, like you, keep an open and understanding conversation going with others, both trans and cis. I stopped following most online groups i had belonged to because of the all-to-frequent intolerance, misunderstandings and even nastiness towards one another.
    As an older adult – seniors, some call us – i am not too savvy when it comes to all that is available now on the internet, and also i am very wary of putting much personal information out there. Just want to let you know i am a new “follower”, have to check out some of your past posts.
    FireTurtle

    PS – i really like the lion image. I have long had an affinity for it myself. The lion’s head with flowing mane calls the graphic image of the sun to my mind, and the sun is the original source of energy for life.

    • Hello FireTurtle and thanks for signing up and saying hello. I know what you mean about not keeping abreast of what’s going on the community. That’s not uncommon after trans folks after they transition. I suppose they become integrated into their new lives and proper gender and just… live.

      As for my blog, I have to apologize – I haven’t made a really big post in almost a year. But I think about it alot 😉

      Hope you find some info that you find interesting.

      Oh, and thank you for the PS about the lion image – I can see how the lion’s head brings forth images of the sun. Very cool.

  24. Danie says:

    Hi ATM,
    I’m Danie, the head of community development for Humanthology, a startup focused on personal stories and first hand experiences. We’re building a social platform for safely sharing personal stories on topics that matter. Right now we are in private beta testing. We’ve been gathering powerful personal stories on a small set of particularly impactful topics. Among the initial topics are experiences with transgender life. And we would love to include your story.

    Humanthology starts where Wikipedia ends. We are taking meaningful topics and finding authentic voices to humanize them. The stories are organized around specific themes and together present a multifaceted perspective of the world around us. We’re building a community where members will find both information and support – and where we can all see we’re not alone.

    My mother (and lifelong best friend) transitioned a few years ago. I watched his journey first through the eyes of a child wanting her parent to be happy, then through those of adult fearing for that parent’s safety among both ignorant strangers and equally ignorant family members. Now my parent is grandfather to my nephew and my niece – with neither one of them knowing how long the road has been. My brother and I have a relationship with a person who doesn’t exist for anyone else. I find it amazing, and – while it hasn’t always been easy – it makes me proud.

    My parent and I have both written stories for the site. It was interesting to me to see how we remember the same events differently. I’d like to officially invite you to be one of our inaugural contributors. I just found your blog and have been enthralled. The content would be entirely up to you – we’re just looking for a first person perspective. You could use something you’ve already written, or craft something new. We’ll link back to your blog or whichever site you prefer.

    If you’re interested I’ll give you more information about story submission process. Feel free to contact me with your questions, concerns or just to talk more about our company. I look forward to hearing back from you.

    Cheers

    Danie D.Taylor
    danie@humanthology.com
    415.857.0372

  25. adamperez says:

    HI,

    My name is Adam Perez. I have been filming a documentary on the trans community in NY for the past half year. I’m telling the story through a makeshift trans family bonded by the search for community.

    I’m currently raising funds for an editor via indiegogo. I would appreciate any help and if you could share this with anyone who you think would be interested in contributing.

    Feel free to check out our trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdJ5XFy6u2Q

    And our indiegogo campaign: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/who-we-become–3/x/8442243#home

    Any help is greatly appreciated.

    Best,

  26. Hello, just wanted to let you know that I shared your unicorn post on the Facebook page (Steve Hohenboken, LPC, ATR) for my counseling/art therapy practice. I appreciate your thoughts about expectations for kids based on assigned gender. Clearly, these are important things for us to be thinking about. Also, your description of your experience with your father was very interesting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and writing.

  27. michelle says:

    Hello, I stumbled upon your blog today and am curious if you started a new one somewhere? The last post here is dated a few years back. Great information!

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